Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Do not marry someone you have never seen angry - By Bosun Bankole


Falling inlove is a great feeling. Love makes you think of and care for this special someone more than you do yourself. Love changes the definition of a lot of things including the word 'stranger'. Who is a stranger? A stranger is someone you do not know well enough to call a friend or acquaintance.

Knowing someone means you can deduce the person's reaction to different circumstances. If you have never seen your spouse angry, you cannot predict the reaction of your spouse in every circumstance. Hence, your spouse is a stranger until you have seen him/her angry.

Some people believe it is better to keep things safe and not rock the boat of the relationship too vigorously with conflicts. But, I am of the opinion that conflict is one of the best things that could ever happen in your relationship. I believe it is better to rock the boat of the relationship as much as it needs to be shaken, so you do not get subjected to damage control all the days of your marriage life.

Just as it takes two to love, it also takes two to fight. You don't want to be married to someone you cannot hold an argument with or someone who is unwilling to trash out an issue with you. I am not referring to exchanging blows. What I mean is you should not be married to someone whom you are unable to get angry with.

Holding a grudge is unavoidable if you cannot conveniently express your dislike when your spouse has erred even if expressing yourself leads to an argument. A conflict in relationships helps you to know your spouse and how to make your spouse happier. Conflicts help you to develop the skills to love your spouse the way he/she wants to be loved.

One of the benefits of marriage is having two separate views from the parties in the marriage that can be reconciled to arrive at a more profitable conclusion. Ironically, contradictory opinion is the cause of most conflicts. Hence, to maximize conflicts in relationships, both parties must be willing to find a common ground by entertaining change.

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